Any one for farm stories

1406 Views 9 Replies 4 Participants Last post by Jim, Jan 10, 2007

Jim

Discussion Starter · Dec 16, 2006

If the moderaters dont care I will tell some farm stories for a week and see how this works out...a lot of these quotes will be from me and the great Captain Stubby Tom Fouts ...If that dont work we have song titles ...Like she had a body by fisher...and a brain like Tinker toy...if that dont work ...well just tell me to shut up.....get ready for some fun this is some real country humor right outa the tater patch..Some good ole country wisdom....jh

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #2 · Dec 16, 2006

here we go again..
If you didnt think the lord didnt have a sense of humor , just look at the person next to you...

Caterpillar and national homes are merging to build cat houses ... :nod:

No what ya get when you cross a migrant worker and a octopuss." a 8 row unit...

Did you hear about the brown nosed duck," He could fly as fast as the other ducks , but just couldnt stop as fast

Stay tuned for more animal stories from the tater Patch,...JH

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #3 · Dec 22, 2006

Are you ready...Git back

The tighter the money, the higher the interest! the same with womens slacks .

Only a hen can make money laying around.......JH

Mine husban' was keeled by a weasel

''A weasel? tell me!''

"vell, he was drivink along in his automobile ven he came to a railroad crossinkan'

he didn' hear the de weasel..

.more from the tater patch later ...Its my night off so I thought I would tell a animal story...and if you want a fast clutch you no who to call...and oh if your offended by merry Christmas :finger: Then have a Happy holiday from JH

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #4 · Dec 22, 2006

Are you ready...Git back

The tighter the money, the higher the interest! the same with womens slacks .

Only a hen can make money laying around.......JH

Mine husban' was keeled by a weasel

''A weasel? tell me!''

"vell, he was drivink along in his automobile ven he came to a railroad crossinkan'

he didn' hear the de weasel..

.more from the tater patch later ...Its my night off so I thought I would tell a animal story...and if you want a fast clutch you know who to call...and oh if your offended by Merry Christmas :finger: Then have a Happy holidays from ole JH ...Have a very Merry xmas please enjoy the good simple things ...Jh

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #5 · Dec 27, 2006

Ah oh another animal story...
How do make a elephant Fly? First get a zipper 5 ft long...

Why did a farmer feed his cattle marijuna ...Sais it makes good pot roast :finger:

Did you hear about the itchy horse - he had a buggy behind..

More from the tater patch later ..I tell ye I aint had so much fun since the hogs ate my brother...

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morehorsepower

· #6 · Jan 2, 2007

Jim you in the sour mashed again ???

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jan 9, 2007

NOOO not the Mash...just corny animal jokes and stories about time for another one isn't it...
A big elephant escapes the zoo and gets in an old ladys garden. The old lady is nearly blind but is aware that there is a big animal in her yard garden. She calls the sheriff and says "come get this big animal outa my garden. Hes pulling up my cabbages with his tail!..Sheriff" whats he doin with em lady?" The old lady replied", "You wouldnt belive me if I told you." :lol:

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Dale_Jr_Bud

· #8 · Jan 9, 2007

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :crybaby:

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PIPO

· #9 · Jan 9, 2007

Originally posted by RPM
THE COP AND THE LITTLE GIRL

A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there, Sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

:lol: :lol:

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Jim

Discussion Starter · #10 · Jan 10, 2007

:unibrow: Yes siree thats a classic..I will have to put that one in Stubbys note page ... :lol:

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